Nobody will ever say that my social skills are top notch. I’ve always been on the shy side, but I’m much better than I used to be. But everybody experiences awkward moments. Like when you get on an elevator with a member of the opposite sex who you don’t know and you both sort of pretend the other person isn’t there. Nobody glances. Nobody says a word. But then you get off the elevator and as you pass somebody in a hallway, you exchange salutations. What is it about elevators that make us clam up so?
Or how about the awkwardness in grocery stores? If you are like me, you start at one end of the store and work your way toward the other side. It always seems like somebody is working the same aisle as you, but they are coming from the opposite side. So you pass each other ten or fifteen times and never say a word to each other. I always find that to be so odd.
When I first hit the walking trails last year, I expected much the same, but I was pleasantly surprised when more than half of the people I passed greeted me in some fashion. For somebody who wants to interact with people more, I find all of this etiquette to be quite confusing. But it’s made me appreciate something I called “forced interaction” a little more.
I’ve been playing tennis about once a week for the several months, and often, one of the other courts is being used next to the one my friend and I play on. Invariably, either my friend and I or the other group will hit a tennis ball that strays onto somebody else’s court. Usually, the offending party will apologize and the other person will say it’s no problem. Before long, everybody has returned so many tennis balls, that everybody feels comfortable interacting. I love it when that happens.
I wish all of us were a little more open to interacting with each other, but I understand people’s reservations. As a male, I’m always conscious of the fact that when I’m interacting with a woman, that she may be leery because she doesn’t know my intentions. And I’m sure that women are a little hesitant to initiate polite interaction with men for fear of sending the wrong message. I really don’t see any way around this between the sexes, but I suspect all of us could do a little more to encourage interaction between people.
The other day, I was standing outside of a restaurant, waiting to meet my mom for supper. A guy who is a different nationality than I am walked by me and said, “Hey, how’s it going?” I returned his greeting, but then I was sort of irritated at myself for not saying something to him first. I just chalked it up as a learning experience. Hopefully it’ll encourage me to be a little more open in the future.
Technorati Tags: interaction, etiquette, social skills, tennis