As somebody who has always been on the shy side, I’ve always been quite content to blend in with crowds—to go as unnoticed as possible, even when it comes to being noticed for “good” reasons. When I became interested in writing, I never really expected people to notice me—especially since the majority of my writing is done for newspapers or magazines. People read articles, but rarely remember who wrote them. It seemed like a great fit for me.
For the first several years, I was right. I wrote a dozen or so articles that appeared in various publications and I got the occasional e-mail or letter, but nothing that made me feel like I was in the spotlight. Then, a few years ago, I had an idea for a book. I found an agent, wrote a book proposal, and within a few weeks I had a contract. So, I wrote the book, and after it was published, I began to get requests for radio interviews and invitations to speak to groups. I did them all, tentatively at first, but I got through them fine.
Then, last year I wrote an article for a newspaper that was picked up by maybe 20 or 30 other newspapers and soon I found my name all over internet message boards as people discussed my article. In recent weeks, people have been discussing (in similar forums) other things I’ve written and while I still find it a bit uncomfortable, I’m noticing a change in myself.
I don’t expect to ever totally get over my desire to simply blend in, but I’m getting to the point where I’m okay with stepping into the spotlight momentarily when the situation warrants it. I’d never want to stay there, and I’ll always be self-conscious while I’m there, but I suspect that most everybody else is as well. For now, I’m just happy to feel like I can push past my shyness when necessary.
