I rented Tristan and Isolde a few nights ago and it was a bit of a disappointment. The premise is good: It's about two wayward young adults from different backgrounds. One from England. One from Ireland. It's set in the Dark Ages, during which Ireland desperately wanted to keep the clans of England from uniting and throwing off Irish rule. Tristan's parents were killed by the Irish. Isolde was the daughter of the Irish king, but she was restless—bound for a loveless, arranged marriage that she didn't want.
That's when she finds Tristan washed up on the shores of Ireland. Isolde thought he might be dead, but he'd just been poisoned during battle. And so the story begins. But what I really want to talk about is one of their conversations. First I need to set the stage a little by telling you about one of their early conversations:
"Don't you think there's more to life?" Isolde said.
"Than what?" Tristan said.
"Something more than duty and death. Why be capable of feelings if we're not to have them? Why long for things if they're not meant to be ours? Don't listen to me. You're so sure of things. Your certainty—it's like armour. I wish I had that."
"Why would you need it?" Tristan said.
"The joy of being a lady. Wanting something I can't have. A life of my own."
Tristan is all about duty and honor. So the idea of something else existing that is worth living for and ultimately dying for seems foreign to him. That was before he became enraptured with Isolde. But with the thoughts of Isolde's countrymen killing his parents running through his head and with his duty-bound conscience, he's torn.
They eventually part ways, but then are reunited when Isolde's father arranges a fighting tournament that pits the clans of England against each other. The winner was to receive Isolde as his bride (her other arranged marriage ended when her husband-to-be was killed in battle). Tristan wins the tournament, but he was fighting on behalf of the head of his clan. So close, but yet so far. Tristan watches from the sidelines as the woman he loves is married to a man he respects.
Isolde settles into married life as best she can. Tristan sulks. Eventually, the head of his clan encourages Tristan to find love. And in walks Isolde. Here's the exchange between Tristan and Isolde that I want to talk about:
"There are other things to live for—duty, honor," Tristan said.
"They are not life, Tristain. They are the shells of life and empty ones if in the end all they hold are days and days without love. Love is made by God. Ignore it and you suffer as you cannot imagine."
"Then I will no longer live without it."
And thus begins an affair between the two.
It seems to me that both Tristan and Isolde see duty and honor to be the polar opposite of love and I find that to be a bit odd. It's as if they believe that a person can't have a high view of duty and honor while being in love at the same time. I hardly see duty and honor as "shells of life" as Isolde proclaimed them to be—even if one never finds love.
Love without honor and duty leads to dishonor. Isolde was willing to cheat on her husband while convincing Tristan to lay his honor aside. Love with honor and duty leads to what marriage should look like. Honor and duty without love may lead to bouts of loneliness, but that's not the equivalent of an empty life. An empty life is void of all three; duty, honor, and love.
