As a guy who likes to watch movies, read books, and surf the net on occasion, I can’t get something out of my head that Donald Miller said in his book Blue Like Jazz about the subject of coolness. Here’s what he said:
“I think we have this need to be cool, that there is this undercurrent in society that says some people are cool and some people aren’t. And it is very, very important that we are cool. So, when we find somebody who is cool on television or on the radio, we associate ourselves with this person to feel valid ourselves. And the problem I have with this is that we rarely know what the person believes whom we are associates ourselves with. The problem with this is that it indicates there is less value in what people believe, what they stand for; it only matters that they are cool. In other words, who cares what I believe about life, I only care that I am cool.”
He goes on to say that he’s one of those people who associates with cool people and he hates that about himself.
I think Miller has a point. Being cool, even for older folk like myself, seems to be way more important than it should. That’s why we change our hairstyles once a decade. That’s why buy the latest tennis shoes or style of jeans. We don’t mind looking a little behind the times. We just don’t want anybody to think we’re still living in 1985.
Miller is talking specifically about people though, not clothing or looks or anything else. That’s not something I’ve given a lot of thought about until he mentioned it. I’m not cool. I understand that. I had the long-haired thing going in the 80’s and I still wasn’t cool. But I wanted to be. So I understand what Miller is saying. The people I thought were cool had long hair and played in heavy metal bands. So, in that regard, I think Miller is right. We place too much emphasis on coolness and not enough on what a person believes.
On the other hand, if I only associated with people who shared my beliefs, I’m guessing that we could hold our annual convention in a Starbucks somewhere. And do we ever really know everything other people believe? Some are more willing than others to tell us, but most only unveil a small portion.
I used to feel guilty if I liked a song by an artist who holds views that largely oppose my own. Guilt by association was my thinking. I don’t think that way any more. If I hear a song I like, I tap my feet and hum along—always being conscious of the underlying meaning, but never rejecting it simply because I don’t totally agree with the artist singing it.
I admit that it’s easier this way, and it certainly makes it easier to fall prey to the coolness bug that Miller wrote about. But if you read through his words again, I think you’ll see a guy who just wants to make sure that coolness shouldn’t be the only reason, or the primary reason, for liking a person and his or her work. And if that’s true, I agree with him.
