Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks to God for his unending mercy and grace, for His many provisions, for answered prayers, and even for the times He brings correction into our lives.
While Thanksgiving is all of this, it's also a time of many other things. A time for college students to launch out and maybe start their own traditions as they spend their first Thanksgiving hundreds or thousands of miles from the place they've always called home. It's about newly married couples or single adults who are seeking to do the same. These are exciting and scary times for people at this stage of life and I'm hoping that many of them find happiness today.
But I'll be honest, I'm thinking much more about the man I know who lost his wife a few months ago and how he's about to endure Thanksgiving without her for the first time in several decades. He's planning to spend Thanksgiving with friends, but you just know that his heart is going to be breaking as he thinks about the way his wife used to make the turkey and all the trimmings. Or the way she used to set the table. Or the way she used to call everyone to dinner at a certain time—the same time she did every year. Or the plates she used at Thanksgiving. Or the way she handed him the carving knife. Or the smile on her face at the end of the night when everybody took home gobs of leftovers. Or countless other things that he'll never get to hear or experience again.
I'm thinking about my uncle who also lost his wife a few months ago who has never cooked a day in his life (thankfully his daughters are rallying around him and doing what needs to be done). Nobody expected his wife to "go" first. She was always going to there—at every Thanksgiving, at every Christmas, and for all the "mundane" days in between. She would be there to make sure he took his medicine, got to the doctor, could hear the telephone (he has hearing problems), had someone to pray with each morning, and dozens of other things that had become part of their routine. But she did go first and now my uncle is left to try to pick up the pieces. He'll be surrounded by family today, but none of them will be his wife.
I'm thinking about the singles, the divorced, the elderly, and the sick who don't have anybody to share the holiday with. They are going to be utterly alone and consequently, they don't have any delusions of grandeur. They've been dreading this holiday and now it is here.
The two men who lost their wives have adult sons and daughters who are about to spend their first Thanksgiving without their mothers. They are going to try to appear to be strong for the fathers, but their fathers will know the truth. Everybody will eat their turkey, and watch a little football, but things will never be the same.
Everybody is in transition and not every smile you see today will be real. When you do see a real smile, then rejoice with those who rejoice. When you see a fake smile, don't forget to mourn with those who mourn.
In the end, I don't think anybody who is hurting is really looking for "answers" about how to endure a difficult holiday without dear loved ones. What they really want are other dear loved ones to surround them and to simply understand that they are hurting. And I'm guessing that they would be extremely thankful if that happened. But I'm also praying that they, along with those will be spending the day completely alone, will lean in close to a God who knows what it feels like to lose a Loved one.
