I go through watches like some women go through romance novels. Pretty quickly. I either break them or lose them or the battery dies and since I buy the cheapest watches possible, I just buy a new one any time my old watch disappears or stops working. I bought another watch last night. It was $7.50. I don’t care about the features when buying a watch. I just want it tell me the time. And I prefer a Velcro strap, even though I feel like an eight year old for preferring such things.
Anyway. I bought the new watch. I got into my car, pulled the watch out of the sack, and attempted to set the time. I usually have no problem doing that, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure it out—so when all else fails, read the instructions, right? You will not believe what you are about to read. Here’s what the instructions say about setting the time:
In normal time, push S3-Button three times. Tuesday flag + second digits will flash. Push S2-Button and Second will be reset to zero. 1 X Push of S1-Button: Minute digits flash and advance by depression of S2-Button. 2 X Push of S1-Button: Hour digits flash and advance as above. 3 X Push of S1-Button: Date digits flash and advance as above. 4 X Push of S1-Button: Month digits flash and advances as above. 5 X Push Push of S1-Button: Flag of weekday flashes and advances as above. Push of S1-Button and second will start for setting again. If S3-Button is pushed during any time change Normal Time will resume on display.
Huh?
With no help from the instructions, I finally pushed enough buttons to figure out how to set the time, but by default, the watch is on military time. Here are the rather simple instructions about how to change it to civilian time:
You have the possibility to change from 12 to 24 hour system, when adjusting the hours of the normal time (description please see above) one after the other the hours are displayed in the 12 hour system, then in the 24 hour system and then again the 12 hour system, i.e. please push S2 so many times, that the hour is displayed in the required system. In the 12-hour system hours are identified by “A” for 24:00-12:00 and with “P” for the 12:00-24:00 whereas in the 24 hour system all hours are identified with “H.”
I love the part that says, “please push S2 so many times, that the hour is displayed in the required system.” First off, why is there a comma in that sentence? Second off, why isn’t there a comma in some of the other sentences? Third off, you cannot be serious: push the button “so many times”—could this be more vague? And what in the world is a “required system”? I think a person could literally pull words out of a dictionary at random and they would make more sense.
See ladies—this is why men don’t read the instructions. They don’t make any sense.
I finally gave up. I really only needed a new watch band anyway (and they cost about as much as my new watch does), so I removed my new watch face, with it still showing military time, and tossed it into my junk drawer where it’ll never be seen again. Then I attached my old watch face to my new band and I finally had a functioning watch.
Maybe I should have just paid $20.00 or $30.00 and bought a better watch to begin with, huh?
