I am no longer blogging here at Little Nuances, but I would love for you to join me on my author website www.leewarren.info.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Collateral Damage from One Chicken Wing

"If you eat one of my wings, I'll watch whatever movie you want."

"They look weird, and I can't imagine they'll taste any better."

"Just give it a try. Try something new."

"I rarely like anything new."

"Just try it."

My friend Shawn told me Buffalo Wild Wings recently began offering a "dry rub" substance on wings. It looked like someone rubbed red powder all over them, but the thought of Shawn being subject to any movie in my collection was too much of a temptation to pass up.

I reached over, picked up a wing and bit into it. Several things happened simultaneously.

First, some of the dry rub fell on my shirt. Dropping food on my shirt is nothing new. I think I have a reputation for doing it. If not, I probably should have such a reputation. But this time, it really wasn't my fault. Is it even possible to keep powdered food from falling on your shirt?

Second, the dry rub was hot. I don't do hot, so, with my mouth hanging open, I started whispering "Ha, ha, ha," and no, I wasn't laughing, but Shawn was. I was low on Coke, but thankfully a waitress saved the day by bringing another one.

After Shawn called me a wuss – because we're tight like that – my right eye began to burn. Then it really began to burn. Somehow, the powder not only fell downward on my shirt, but in that one bite, it also found a way to drift upward into my eye. I had to work that night, covering a tennis event for a local magazine, and I envisioned walking into the auditorium with a red eye and having people wonder all sorts of things about me.

Not only had the new thing not been something I enjoyed, it actually burned my mouth and caused collateral damage to parts of the rest of my body. And that's why I don't try new things.

Here's the kicker – it was all for naught. We met another friend and ended up playing a board game instead of watching a movie. But Shawn owes me big time and I'll pester him until our dying days to get him to watch The Notebook or Serendipity with me.

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