I pulled out of my driveway yesterday and headed for church. Just a couple of blocks from my home, I saw a woman walking on the sidewalk. She had a lonely sort of look to her and by the time I drove past her, I was thinking that I should have waved. But that can be taken the wrong way in a big city--especially when a man does it to a woman he doesn't know. I have to tell you though, some social norms, like this one, really bug me. My Dad's side of the family comes from small town USA. As a kid, I'd go visit relatives in small Arkansas towns. Everybody waved at everybody and it gave you a sense of security. At least that's what it did for me. Sometimes I drive to a small town in Nebraska to visit a friend and his family. Everybody I drive past waves at me, regardless of whether they are in their vehicles are just out working in the yard. I've gotten used to it and I try to wave first. A few years ago, one of my aunts died (she lived in a small town in Iowa) and after the funeral, on the way to the cemetery on an old lonely highway, traffic from the opposite direction pulled onto the shoulder and waited for the funeral procession to go past. Such a show of respect moved me.
In a world in which most people are lonely, such simple gestures could go a long way to fill the gap that most of us feel with humanity. It's easy to feel inconsequential but it's just as easy to feel acknowledged and respected if we could ever get past the notion that we are supposed to pretend that we don't see each other as we pass on the street or share the same elevator. The next time I get the feeling that I should wave or smile at a stranger, I'm going to do it. I don't know what kind of reaction I'll get, but I think it's worth the risk.
